What Kim K Could Teach Kirstie Alley About Sex Appeal

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Kirstie Alley should embrace her curves like Kim!

Kim Kardashian would never be a size zero and she is sexy! So, maybe Kirstie should listen up!

Kirstie Alley is someone who's known for two things: her role on Cheers and for her always changing weight —one day it's up, the next it's down. So, last night's comment did catch us a little off guard when she talked about her size.

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Alley joked that on the new season of Dancing With the Stars: All Stars she didn't exactly care about winning. She said, "I don't give a you-know-what about the mirror ball, I want to just be a size zero like the other girls on the show." She went on to joke that she'd be happy if she were a zero for even just one day saying,  "I don't even care if the next day I balloon up to a two." Why Dancing With The Stars' Maks And Karina Split

First of all, since when is a size two a "balloon?" While maybe some women would loveto be a zero, more women dream of having the curves of a Kardashian. Logging on to Instagram or Twitter, you'll see the Kardashian sisters (mostly Kim, of course) showing off how sexy it can be to be curvy and confident. The main lesson here would be to own what you've got. They sure do! Kirstie can, too!

Alley's health has increased since DWTS and she's even developed her own weight loss program called Organic Liaison. Alley loved doing the show back on season 12, where she shed 100 pounds and moved from a size 16 to a size six. Not only is dancing fun, but it made Alley healthier! Hopefully, this season will as well! We know that humor works for her, and we are so happy she's been able to maintain a healthier lifestyle. Tune in to see her and her partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy dance away this season!

While there’s no doubt that the right diet, strength training and cardio routine will help you shed the pounds, there are some other secrets to a smaller waistline that may just surprise and delight you.

Have more orgasms: A 2002 report from a large British population of men said researchers found a 50 percent reduction in overall mortality in the group of men who said they had the most orgasms. The Journal of the American Medical Association, has also reported that “high ejaculation frequency was related to decreased risk of total prostate cancer.” Having regular orgasms can increase your life span. Every time you reach orgasm, the hormone DHEA increases in response to sexual excitement and orgasm. DHEA can boost your immune system, improve cognition, keep skin healthy, and even work as an antidepressant. DHEA also helps you burn fat. Therefore, the added health benefit is that you will feel – and look – younger longer.

Get to bed earlier: More than half the respondents to a National Sleep survey reported they are morning people with higher energy earlier in the day, while 41% considered themselves night owls. Evening people were more likely than morning people to experience symptoms of insomnia, sleep apnea, enjoy less sleep than they felt they needed and take longer to fall asleep. Staying awake into the wee hours causes hormonal imbalance because it increases cortisol, decreases leptin and depletes growth hormone. This causes us to eat more and wreaks havoc with our metabolism. Cortisol naturally begins to increase during the second half of your sleep – a small boost at 2 a.m., another at 4 a.m. and the peak at around 6 am. If you’re just getting to bed immediately beforehand, you’re missing out on your most restful period of sleep. I advocate getting to bed between 10 -11 p.m. for this reason. Of course, hitting the sack earlier will also help you achieve the fat loss tip above.

Add in a probiotic: Healthy bacterial balance in the digestive system is vital for overall health, particularly for the breakdown and elimination of estrogen. Probiotics assist with bowel cleansing, preventing constipation, reducing allergy symptoms, and boosting immunity and skin health. It also, however, helps you shed weight. A 2010 study published in the British Journal of Nutrition found that probiotic bacteria improves insulin sensitivity by doing exactly that, reducing systemic inflammation. In a double-blinded study, forty-five males with type 2 diabetes, impaired or normal glucose tolerance were enrolled in a 4-week treatment course and given either an acidophilus pill (friendly gut bacteria) or a placebo. They found that insulin sensitivity was preserved among the group taking acidophilus, whereas it decreased in the placebo group. While the inflammatory markers tested went unchanged, insulin sensitivity did improve with no other changes in diet or activity levels.

Get more alkaline: Excess body acidity or pH imbalance also interferes with our hormones and your fat loss goals. pH is the measure of the acidity or alkalinity of a substance. We experience health problems when the pH of our body fluids, digestive system and tissues is pushed out of its comfortable neutral zone. You will enjoy the most dramatic results when your body is slightly alkaline. Acidity decreases your body’s ability to absorb the vitamins and minerals from your foods and supplements, it interferes with your ability to detoxify and it disrupts your metabolism and it makes you more prone to fatigue and mood changes.

The pH scale runs from 0 to 14. A lower pH number means a higher level of acidity and generally less oxygen is present. A higher pH indicates greater level of alkalinity. A solution is considered neutral, neither acid nor alkaline, when it has a pH of 7. Our body continually strives to maintain its normal pH balance of about 7.0 – 7.4. You can test your pH by picking up pH strips at any health food store. Test your saliva and urine first thing in the morning and remember: green = good!

Don’t forget the fish oil: One study completed at the University of South Australia looked at the effects of diet and exercise, and found that fish oil supplements and exercise made a powerful fat-loss combination. During the study, overweight and obese adults with metabolic syndrome, and a greater risk of heart disease, took omega-3 fish oil daily in combination with moderate aerobic exercise three times a week for 12 weeks. Body fat stores, particularly abdominal fat, were significantly reduced in the fish-oil-plus-exercise group, but not in those who used fish oil or exercise alone. Supplementing the diet with fish oil may prevent muscle loss that commonly occurs in cancer patients who undergo chemotherapy. The trial involved 16 patients who took fish oil (2.2 grams of eicosapentaenoic acid/day) and 24 patients who did not. Patients who did not take fish oil lost an average of 2.3 kilograms whereas patients receiving fish oil maintained their weight. What’s even more interesting is that 69 percent of patients in the fish oil group gained or maintained muscle mass.

Add in a probiotic: Healthy bacterial balance in the digestive system is vital for overall health, particularly for the breakdown and elimination of estrogen. Probiotics assist with bowel cleansing, preventing constipation, reducing allergy symptoms, and boosting immunity and skin health. It also, however, helps you shed weight. A 2010 study published in the British Journal of Nutrition found that probiotic bacteria improves insulin sensitivity by doing exactly that, reducing systemic inflammation. In a double-blinded study, forty-five males with type 2 diabetes, impaired or normal glucose tolerance were enrolled in a 4-week treatment course and given either an acidophilus pill (friendly gut bacteria) or a placebo. They found that insulin sensitivity was preserved among the group taking acidophilus, whereas it decreased in the placebo group. While the inflammatory markers tested went unchanged, insulin sensitivity did improve with no other changes in diet or activity levels.

Get more alkaline: Excess body acidity or pH imbalance also interferes with our hormones and your fat loss goals. pH is the measure of the acidity or alkalinity of a substance. We experience health problems when the pH of our body fluids, digestive system and tissues is pushed out of its comfortable neutral zone. You will enjoy the most dramatic results when your body is slightly alkaline. Acidity decreases your body’s ability to absorb the vitamins and minerals from your foods and supplements, it interferes with your ability to detoxify and it disrupts your metabolism and it makes you more prone to fatigue and mood changes.

The pH scale runs from 0 to 14. A lower pH number means a higher level of acidity and generally less oxygen is present. A higher pH indicates greater level of alkalinity. A solution is considered neutral, neither acid nor alkaline, when it has a pH of 7. Our body continually strives to maintain its normal pH balance of about 7.0 – 7.4. You can test your pH by picking up pH strips at any health food store. Test your saliva and urine first thing in the morning and remember: green = good!

Don’t forget the fish oil: One study completed at the University of South Australia looked at the effects of diet and exercise, and found that fish oil supplements and exercise made a powerful fat-loss combination. During the study, overweight and obese adults with metabolic syndrome, and a greater risk of heart disease, took omega-3 fish oil daily in combination with moderate aerobic exercise three times a week for 12 weeks. Body fat stores, particularly abdominal fat, were significantly reduced in the fish-oil-plus-exercise group, but not in those who used fish oil or exercise alone. Supplementing the diet with fish oil may prevent muscle loss that commonly occurs in cancer patients who undergo chemotherapy. The trial involved 16 patients who took fish oil (2.2 grams of eicosapentaenoic acid/day) and 24 patients who did not. Patients who did not take fish oil lost an average of 2.3 kilograms whereas patients receiving fish oil maintained their weight. What’s even more interesting is that 69 percent of patients in the fish oil group gained or maintained muscle mass.

Add in a probiotic: Healthy bacterial balance in the digestive system is vital for overall health, particularly for the breakdown and elimination of estrogen. Probiotics assist with bowel cleansing, preventing constipation, reducing allergy symptoms, and boosting immunity and skin health. It also, however, helps you shed weight. A 2010 study published in the British Journal of Nutrition found that probiotic bacteria improves insulin sensitivity by doing exactly that, reducing systemic inflammation. In a double-blinded study, forty-five males with type 2 diabetes, impaired or normal glucose tolerance were enrolled in a 4-week treatment course and given either an acidophilus pill (friendly gut bacteria) or a placebo. They found that insulin sensitivity was preserved among the group taking acidophilus, whereas it decreased in the placebo group. While the inflammatory markers tested went unchanged, insulin sensitivity did improve with no other changes in diet or activity levels.

Get more alkaline: Excess body acidity or pH imbalance also interferes with our hormones and your fat loss goals. pH is the measure of the acidity or alkalinity of a substance. We experience health problems when the pH of our body fluids, digestive system and tissues is pushed out of its comfortable neutral zone. You will enjoy the most dramatic results when your body is slightly alkaline. Acidity decreases your body’s ability to absorb the vitamins and minerals from your foods and supplements, it interferes with your ability to detoxify and it disrupts your metabolism and it makes you more prone to fatigue and mood changes.

The pH scale runs from 0 to 14. A lower pH number means a higher level of acidity and generally less oxygen is present. A higher pH indicates greater level of alkalinity. A solution is considered neutral, neither acid nor alkaline, when it has a pH of 7. Our body continually strives to maintain its normal pH balance of about 7.0 – 7.4. You can test your pH by picking up pH strips at any health food store. Test your saliva and urine first thing in the morning and remember: green = good!

Don’t forget the fish oil: One study completed at the University of South Australia looked at the effects of diet and exercise, and found that fish oil supplements and exercise made a powerful fat-loss combination. During the study, overweight and obese adults with metabolic syndrome, and a greater risk of heart disease, took omega-3 fish oil daily in combination with moderate aerobic exercise three times a week for 12 weeks. Body fat stores, particularly abdominal fat, were significantly reduced in the fish-oil-plus-exercise group, but not in those who used fish oil or exercise alone. Supplementing the diet with fish oil may prevent muscle loss that commonly occurs in cancer patients who undergo chemotherapy. The trial involved 16 patients who took fish oil (2.2 grams of eicosapentaenoic acid/day) and 24 patients who did not. Patients who did not take fish oil lost an average of 2.3 kilograms whereas patients receiving fish oil maintained their weight. What’s even more interesting is that 69 percent of patients in the fish oil group gained or maintained muscle mass.

Add in a probiotic: Healthy bacterial balance in the digestive system is vital for overall health, particularly for the breakdown and elimination of estrogen. Probiotics assist with bowel cleansing, preventing constipation, reducing allergy symptoms, and boosting immunity and skin health. It also, however, helps you shed weight. A 2010 study published in the British Journal of Nutrition found that probiotic bacteria improves insulin sensitivity by doing exactly that, reducing systemic inflammation. In a double-blinded study, forty-five males with type 2 diabetes, impaired or normal glucose tolerance were enrolled in a 4-week treatment course and given either an acidophilus pill (friendly gut bacteria) or a placebo. They found that insulin sensitivity was preserved among the group taking acidophilus, whereas it decreased in the placebo group. While the inflammatory markers tested went unchanged, insulin sensitivity did improve with no other changes in diet or activity levels.

Get more alkaline: Excess body acidity or pH imbalance also interferes with our hormones and your fat loss goals. pH is the measure of the acidity or alkalinity of a substance. We experience health problems when the pH of our body fluids, digestive system and tissues is pushed out of its comfortable neutral zone. You will enjoy the most dramatic results when your body is slightly alkaline. Acidity decreases your body’s ability to absorb the vitamins and minerals from your foods and supplements, it interferes with your ability to detoxify and it disrupts your metabolism and it makes you more prone to fatigue and mood changes.

The pH scale runs from 0 to 14. A lower pH number means a higher level of acidity and generally less oxygen is present. A higher pH indicates greater level of alkalinity. A solution is considered neutral, neither acid nor alkaline, when it has a pH of 7. Our body continually strives to maintain its normal pH balance of about 7.0 – 7.4. You can test your pH by picking up pH strips at any health food store. Test your saliva and urine first thing in the morning and remember: green = good!

Don’t forget the fish oil: One study completed at the University of South Australia looked at the effects of diet and exercise, and found that fish oil supplements and exercise made a powerful fat-loss combination. During the study, overweight and obese adults with metabolic syndrome, and a greater risk of heart disease, took omega-3 fish oil daily in combination with moderate aerobic exercise three times a week for 12 weeks. Body fat stores, particularly abdominal fat, were significantly reduced in the fish-oil-plus-exercise group, but not in those who used fish oil or exercise alone. Supplementing the diet with fish oil may prevent muscle loss that commonly occurs in cancer patients who undergo chemotherapy. The trial involved 16 patients who took fish oil (2.2 grams of eicosapentaenoic acid/day) and 24 patients who did not. Patients who did not take fish oil lost an average of 2.3 kilograms whereas patients receiving fish oil maintained their weight. What’s even more interesting is that 69 percent of patients in the fish oil group gained or maintained muscle mass.

An Online Dating Guide for the Rest of Us

We all have that coworker, sister-in-law or neighbor that found her fairy tale ending on an online date-to-love site like Match.com or eHarmony. We use social media for everything else, so it’s no surprise that nearly 20% of us have now tried online dating. Now that it’s an acceptable and “normal” option, how do we play the online dating game and win?

The truth is, most of the anxieties and pitfalls of dating are the same on and offline. And landing that first date with your online sweetheart might take a little more social media savvy than you think. Consider these tips to grabbing the attention of the right guys or gals online.

Selling Yourself is the Same On and Offline

Think of your online dating profile as a first impression that you actually get to plan out ahead of time. Advertise yourself. Brag gracefully. Why are you a catch? If you’ve got a biting sense of humor, show it off. And if you’re an accomplished chainsaw sculptor, post photos of your work.

If you’re having a hard time putting your romantic c.v. together, consider asking your friends what they love about spending time with you. (If you’re still at a loss, at least mark “modesty” as one of your chief virtues.)

Just don’t get carried away. Getting hyperbolic about your achievements may attract a few more interested parties, but it’s a bad idea to misrepresent yourself. Don’t use an 8 year old photo from your college trip to Cabo just because you look hot. First dates are uncomfortable enough. You don’t want to make it worse by having to explain that what you really meant by “outdoor survival expert” was that your Bear Grylls tribute video made it to the top of Reddit when Man vs. Wild was cancelled. That’s cool, but it’s not the same.

And while you’re being honest, remember to be clear on your “non-negotiables”. If faith is very important to you or you can only see yourself with someone who shares your obsession with film noirs and whiskey-based cocktails, say so.

Find Your Best-Fit Dating Site

A range of reliable dating platforms are offered online, but it’s worthwhile to do your research before signing up. You’ll find a complete list of the web’s best (and strangest) dating sites below. Each site has it’s own style. And in order to choose the one that’s right for you, you’ll need to ask yourself two questions first.

• Am I willing to pay for personality matching?
• Free platforms like OkCupid attract wider pools of users, but they don’t offer sophisticated compatibility services the way eHarmony or Match.com do.
• What kind of relationship am I looking for right now?
• Dating networks will ask you to list what types of romance you’re after on your profile. But, some sites are more serious than others. You’ll have better luck finding the love of your life on Match.com than on Casual Encounters. Obviously.

A Site For Literally Every Type

Dating sites come in all varieties and are evolved to serve just about every kind of user imaginable.  Are you super busy? Like, working-single-father busy? Large sites that use advanced personality metrics and compatibility statistics are great for users that can’t afford to waste time on too many doomed dates.

Or maybe you’re a skeptic who still prefers tech-free kismet to scientific personality matching. Try OkCupid, the site that doesn’t get in your face with date suggestions. It’s like a Facebook full of people who are available.

But, if singles bore you, affair-maker AshleyMadison will connect you with people that need a no-strings night off from their marriages or committed relationships.

And, of course, there’s a site for the exceptionally good looking single that only wants to talk to other hotties. It’s called Darwin Dating.

Here are the most talked-about dating services online. Plug into one of these networks and you’ll instantly launch the number of your romantic prospects into the millions.

• eHarmony is one of the first and largest online dating services. Nearly half of all newlyweds that met online owe their matches to eHarmony.
• Match matches users using their results from the site’s highly popular personality quiz. The site allows you to take this quiz and review your matches for free before signing up. Match.com subsidiaries include OkCupid and Chemistry.com.
• HowAboutWe is a fun and popular new service that practically guarantees an immediate and actual date.  Users rate one another not by their profiles, but by their date ideas.
• SeniorMatch is a free networking service focused on connecting singles over 50. The site also features senior forums, dating counselors and an impressive list of over 10,000 date ideas for the romantically rusty.
• AdultFriendFinder is a network for casual daters looking for something light, fun and non-committal. The site claims to have over 40 million registered users.
• ChristianMingle is the largest network for Christian singles online. The site features Christian chat rooms, instant messenger and a searchable in-browser bible. Joining is free.

And Finally, 4 Oddly Specific Dating Sites

• Purrsonals is an online dating network exclusively for cat lovers.
• Scientific Singles connects love-hungry scientists and science enthusiasts.
• Farmers Only helps farmers and anyone else living in rural areas connect.
• The Atlasphere hooks Ayn Rand fans up with fellow hard-line individualist

Still Creeped Out by Online Dating?

If you’ve had a secret crush in the last 3 years, you already know – checking the romantic stats of a dreamy stranger has never been easier. A last name is just about all you need to start mining months or years worth of tweets, pins, check-ins, and status updates. Just think of online dating as the less weird alternative to the Facebook date-hunting you’re already doing.

You can share as much or as little about yourself as you like. And as with any online profile, it’s important to play it safe. It’s a bad idea to post Google Earth screenshots of places you live, work or play. Avoid sharing personal email addresses or cell numbers with people you don’t know. Wait to swap this info until the magic kismet you came for strikes. It’s better to make due with the site’s messaging services in the meantime.

My Boyfriend's a Bad Kisser. Help?

Sarah asks, "My boyfriend is a really bad kisser. I don't want him to think I'm avoiding kissing him, but... How do I tell him without offending him, or show him how to kiss without really showing him?"

Bonny's answer: You don't say specifically why your boyfriend is a bad kisser, so I have to assume he's doing something that you don't enjoy. Too much tongue perhaps, or maybe he doesn't understand the tempo or rhythm of a great kiss. Either way the fix is fairly straightforward: make a game out of it. Tell your boyfriend you want to try something new, and ask him to follow what you do - a mime if you would. Ask him to close his eyes, open his mouth slightly, and be flexible with whatever comes his way. Then kiss him the way you like to be kissed, teasing him gently if he starts doing his own thing instead of taking your lead. "Nuh uh! This is my version of Simon Says, and Sarah says close your eyes and relax!"

You could also try different methods of kissing to get some new ideas for the both of you to try. Make a night of it even, attempting to mimic the kisses in your favorite movies, or teach each other how to give a 'screen kiss' just in case one of you decides to become a famous actor and, well, you know. Take kissing quizz, make a list of all the different types of kisses there are, or tell him you read about a new kissing technique you'd like to try out. Point is, have fun with it, and be open to learning something new yourself. And when your partner's bad kissing turns into something divine, make sure to moan or otherwise display your pleasure so he knows without question he's on the right track. 

Study Shows Women In Red Increase Date Spending and Attractiveness

Although most of the articles linking to the BBC's recent story that wearing red 'boosts attraction' state that attractiveness is the quality measured, the study focused more on calculating how much money a man would spend - given $100 - on a date with a woman in a blue or red shirt. Generally, the men spent more on the women wearing red.

The researchers who conducted the study at the University of Rochester felt that the response could be linked to ovulation signaling in primates, where the females of the species' privates become engorged with blood when primed to procreate. Human studies on ovulation and attraction aren't as readily available, although I do remember the fascinating book Sperm Wars (Compare Prices) to have presented more than one theory on the subject; essentially that human females behaviors' change during ovulation, mostly to increase their chances of creating the most viable offspring.

So how does this research relate to singles? I'll let the author of the study, quoted in Scientific American, say it for me:

"I'm not going to let my 16-year-old daughter wear red, let's put it that way," says study author Andrew Elliot, a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester. "I do think a female who's interested in a male and going on a date ought to pull that red shirt out of the closet, because most likely it will make her more attractive to him."

What do you think? Has red changed how people interact with you? Will you wear red more often - on a date, or even a first date - based on this study?

Dating Question About Exclusivity

Confused City Girl asks, "I have been seeing this guy for about 4 months now whom I met from a Craigslist ad that I had posted stating that I was looking for an awesome boyfriend. This guy replies with an awesome e-mail and was very cute too so I make plans to go out on a date with him. We clicked immediately and have been seeing each other since then. We have been to concerts together, spent many nights together, planned a vacation next month, I have even met his family and they love me.

A while ago I noticed that his Facebook and MySpace claim he is still single. I didn't let it bother me too much but I did feel a bit hurt. Recently I have noticed that his text messages are less frequent and much less romantic than they had been. He has also been claiming to need a lot of alone time because he has only been out a long term relationship a few months longer than knowing me.

Last weekend I was at his apartment like normal and went on his computer which is also normal. I noticed in his browser that there was a new saved link that was for OKCupid and I decided to click on it. Well, it automatically signed me into his account that was full of new pictures and a ton of e-mails back and forth with numerous women. He has corresponded with well over 50 women since meeting me. He also sent out an e-mail saying he was looking for a woman to wine and dine and possibly pleasure while he was away on business. He has recently met women for drinks and has told me nothing of it and also told me many of nights we aren't together that he is just hanging out at home or playing music (he is in a band) and so forth.

I was very upset and devastated, so I called him on the phone and tell him to come home if he can and he does. He tells me that he just wants to make sure that I am the right one for him and that he does not have the same feelings for any of these women like he does for me. He says he had planned on dating a lot of different women before he met me. He says that he probably loves me and definitely adores me and that he is almost ready to just be with me. He does not feel like he did anything wrong because he never specifically told me that he was not dating other people. I will admit that I assumed that he wasn't because he seems so into me.

My question is this: do you think he is just wanting his cake and to eat it too or do you really think he just wants to date around to make sure he is doing the right thing with me? Do you think will stop this seemingly obsessiveonline dating when/if he does decide to just be with me? I am so very confused and very hurt and just wanting advice. I am very much in love with this guy and had planned a ton of nice things for his upcoming birthday as well as the vacation we are supposed to go on next month."

Desiree, I feel your pain, and so, my answer will be quick and to the point: if he's not exclusively dating you and can't agree to it now, then it's time for you to take a huge step back. Sure, you didn't have the exclusivity talk, but you both can take responsibility for that one. He didn't tell and you didn't ask. But if he's not willing to be your boyfriend (and it sounds like that's the only acceptable situation for you - nothing wrong with that), then don't let him be and don't treat him like one anymore. Cancel your vacation together and any other big plans, and then let him know that if or when he's ready to start being exclusive with you, you can talk more. Until then, stay busy, lean heavily on your friends, and let him explore his harem solo.

She Doesn't Want To Have Sex With Me Anymore

Julian asks: "I have been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now, and since the beginning we have been having sex. All of a sudden though, she tells me that she does not want to "disrespect" her body and that she does not want us having sex anymore. I feel like she should not have made such a big decision that affects both of us without even talking to me about it beforehand. I love her very much and to me the sex was a way of showing that love. It seems to me that if a relationship was sexually active, and that factor is suddenly taken away, the relationship can't be expected to be the same. Any advice?"

I agree that your relationship with your girlfriend cannot be the same as it was before, as what sounds like a big part of the way the two of you share your affection was through sexual intercourse has now been removed from the equation. However, I think that having sex or not having sex isn't the question.

Yes, it would have been much easier and kinder if your girlfriend to have talked to you about what was going through her mind before she made a decision. When you enter into a relationship with someone, part of that process is agreeing that any major decisions that affect the both of you are discussed, first. Someone gets offered their dream job 400 miles away, an ex invites you to their wedding, or who to spend the holidays with are all conversations better had, together, before a decision has been made.

Sex however is a tricky one, because for many people it is very difficult to talk to their partner about their needs and wants. Using the word "disrespect" tells me that your girlfriend has been struggling with this for some time and needs you to understand her dilemma. It wasn't easy for her I'm sure to tell you about her decision, but I'll hazard a guess that it had very little to do with you. Rather, some outside force is "telling" her that sex is shameful, bad or not to be shared with someone she isn't married to. Problem is, it doesn't sound like you know which category her decision falls into.

Ask her why she feels sex is disrespectful to her body, and try to really listen to what she's saying. I know its difficult to hear from the person you love that they want to stop an important aspect of your relationship, but if you want to make things work with this woman, you are going to have to bite your tongue (and pride) and find out the reasons why she feels this way. When did this become a problem, and why? What is she hoping to gain from not having sex with you anymore? Is all affection off limits (kissing, touching, hand holding), or just sex itself? Has she talked to a mental health professional, medical expert, sex therapist or someone in her religion and/or family about her decision?

Once you have a better idea as to what the reasoning is behind her decision, you can sit down together and talk about how a sexless relationship will affect the both of you, and whether or not it is something you can go back to. I know of women who have stopped having sex with their partners to prompt a marriage proposal, others who have found a religious calling, and yet others who were feeling depressed and didn't find sex at all satisfying anymore. Whatever her reason, you'll have to weigh your feelings on the matter, see if the two of you can come to a compromise (or at the very least get some professional help on the matter), and if not, determine whether or not your relationship can evolve into something new or if it is time for the two of you to part ways.

Captain Squish

There are a few things I’ve done in my dating career that I really regret. But at least I try to learn from my mistakes.

One night I was out at my local watering hole drinking solo. I do that sometimes, especially when I’m single. It’s the best way to meet men. 

So this sweet young thing starts talking to me, and he’s just adorable. He’s in a local band I’ve heard of, but never seen. I even know some of the people in the band, so we have tons to talk about. He’s very sweet, and five years younger than me.

The night turns toward the morning, and we’re still chatting. His friends, including his ride, come and ask him if he’s ready to go, I can tell he’s hesitating, so I offer to give him a ride home if he wants to finish his beer. He eagerly accepts my offer.

But here’s the thing: I’m having fun, but I’m really not DTF that night. Some nights you’re in it to win it, and some nights, not so much. This was not my night.

So by the time the bar closes, when we get into my car, I tell him, “Look, I’m enjoying your company, and if you want to come to my place for a beer, that’s cool, but I’m not going to sleep with you.”

He says he wants to come over, and he’s OK with the deal. 

So we go to my place, drink some beers, and make out a bit. It’s getting late, very late, and I’m getting drunk. Somehow, and I honestly don’t remember the details, we decide to go to bed. Again, I tell him he’s welcome to stay, but I’m not going to sleep with him. Oh, yes, fine, fine.

I fall asleep. 

Some time later, I wake up, and I realize my hand is on his dick. He’s got my wrist, and he’s pushing my hand into his dick. His flaccid dick.

“What the fuck?” I say, sitting up, “was that your dick?”

“Well,” he said, “I mean, I was kind of expecting more.”

I got up and turned on the light. 

“No. Fuck no. You need to leave. Now.”

He pouted while he got his shit together.

“Can you give me a ride?”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. You can walk.” I lived miles from his house, and I didn’t care.

But you know what? I realized right away what an idiot I had been. I mean, seriously? Don’t let a 22-year-old boy sleep in your bed if you don’t plan on fucking him.

But also, boys, don’t press a sleeping girl’s hand into your fleshy, soft penis. That’s just gross.

8 Tips for a Successful Online Dating Profile

For many women, the hardest part of internet dating is figuring out what to place in their profile. All dating sites offer their members a page, where they can write about themselves, upload photos and more. Next to your picture, the things you write about yourself are the most important because they give the reader a snap shot of who you are and what you're interest are.

One of the biggest problems that a lot of women have when they start with an internet based dating site is that they leave their profile section blank because they're anxious to get searching for people to date. There's nothing wrong with this if you're just looking, but if you're seriously trying to find the love of your life then it's a good idea to take some time before you start searching to work on this section because at the end of the day this is what makes you stand out from the rest of the crowd.

Here are some things to keep in mind when writing your internet dating profile:

1) Keep it simple

Try to make it detailed enough for prospective dates to get an idea about you but short enough that they'll want to know more about you. If you write a long dissertation about yourself most men will simply skip over it and not contact you. And in the event that they did end up contacting you, there would be nothing left for them to discover about you which is part of the excitement that comes with dating.

2) Be honest

Lying in your profile is easy and it happens quite a bit and it makes it more difficult to meet someone face to face. If your profile says you're 6'4" when you're really 5'11", your date will know you've lied the second they see you. And starting a relationship with a lie is never ever a good thing!

Unfortunately even honest people with good intentions will occasionally tell a little white lie by trying to make themselves look and sound more attractive then they really might be. If you want to attract the right kind of person based on your personality type then it pays to be honest about who you are and what you like.

3) Don't be demanding

A lot of women tend to list the qualities of the type of man that they're looking for and while there is nothing wrong with this you need to be careful that you also include enough information about yourself so that it doesn't come across as an inquisition.

4) Too much information

Try to avoid putting unnecessary details in your profile such as: pas breakups, disappointments etc. That's not what people want to see when they look. Instead let them see someone who is fun, full of life and ready to date.

5) Add a dose of humor

Using humor is a great way to stand out from the crowd. In fact, some of the most successful profiles are those that just make people laugh. So try including a good joke within your profile; it will go a long way in making you more attractive to your prospects.

6) Be original

When it comes to generating interest with online dating, try and go deeper in this section. Anyone can write "I like long walks on the beach and quite evenings at home". Instead, try using adjectives at the start of your list and go from there. When you dig deeper and give people more of yourself you come across as a real person instead of just words and a picture.

7) Upload a picture

A picture is a must if you're into online dating and not having one will make your prospects jump over you faster than a mud puddle. In fact, some people when they're searching for profiles to view, will only select those with a picture, so if you don't have one you need to get one. Don't stress too much about how your picture needs to look. Generally a good head shot of you smiling will do the job nicely.

8) Match your profile to what you want

Make sure that both your profile, picture and screen name give off the impression that you want. If you're a woman looking for a serious relationship then avoid putting up semi nude photos of yourself because you're not going to attract the kind of guy that you're really looking for.

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Getting Over Your Ex Girlfriend - It DOES Get Better With Time

One of the things that you have to keep in mind when you are trying to get over an ex girlfriend is that it can get better with time if you have the right mindset about things and you don't just sit at home and act depressed about the way that things turned out. Now, I know very well that it is easier to say that things get better than it is to believe it when you are heartbroken, but you do have to remember that there are lots of other women out there and even though you may have lost one, that does not mean that you can't find another. Here are some things that you can do to make things better if you are trying to get over an ex girlfriend: 1) Remember the bad times with her so that you don't end up thinking it was perfect being in a relationship with her. It's next to impossible to get over someone if you remember them as being perfect and you remember being with them as being perfect as well. As good as she might have been and as good as it may have been to have dated her, you know that there were some bad times or that there were some complaints that you had about her. Remember those because you don't want to revise things so that she comes off as being the perfect woman for you because you will not find it easy to get over your ex girlfriend if you see her in that light. 2) Play the field for a bit just so that you can distract yourself. Some will say that this is the "wrong" thing to do, but I don't think so. It can be healthy to play the field a bit and get yourself back in the swing of meeting new women. You may still think about your ex girlfriend, but you'll definitely also see that there are lots of women that you could have some fun dating as well. 3) Keep yourself busy with activities that take your mind off of your ex girlfriend. Anything that you have fun doing that takes your mind off of your ex girlfriend is a good thing and you should do those things right now if you are trying to get over her. There is no sense in just sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself, you might as well have some fun and do things that keep you from thinking about her right now.

She Doesn't Want To Have Sex With Me Anymore

Julian asks: "I have been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now, and since the beginning we have been having sex. All of a sudden though, she tells me that she does not want to "disrespect" her body and that she does not want us having sex anymore. I feel like she should not have made such a big decision that affects both of us without even talking to me about it beforehand. I love her very much and to me the sex was a way of showing that love. It seems to me that if a relationship was sexually active, and that factor is suddenly taken away, the relationship can't be expected to be the same. Any advice?" I agree that your relationship with your girlfriend cannot be the same as it was before, as what sounds like a big part of the way the two of you share your affection was through sexual intercourse has now been removed from the equation. However, I think that having sex or not having sex isn't the question. Yes, it would have been much easier and kinder if your girlfriend to have talked to you about what was going through her mind before she made a decision. When you enter into a relationship with someone, part of that process is agreeing that any major decisions that affect the both of you are discussed, first. Someone gets offered their dream job 400 miles away, an ex invites you to their wedding, or who to spend the holidays with are all conversations better had, together, before a decision has been made. Sex however is a tricky one, because for many people it is very difficult to talk to their partner about their needs and wants. Using the word "disrespect" tells me that your girlfriend has been struggling with this for some time and needs you to understand her dilemma. It wasn't easy for her I'm sure to tell you about her decision, but I'll hazard a guess that it had very little to do with you. Rather, some outside force is "telling" her that sex is shameful, bad or not to be shared with someone she isn't married to. Problem is, it doesn't sound like you know which category her decision falls into. Ask her why she feels sex is disrespectful to her body, and try to really listen to what she's saying. I know its difficult to hear from the person you love that they want to stop an important aspect of your relationship, but if you want to make things work with this woman, you are going to have to bite your tongue (and pride) and find out the reasons why she feels this way. When did this become a problem, and why? What is she hoping to gain from not having sex with you anymore? Is all affection off limits (kissing, touching, hand holding), or just sex itself? Has she talked to a mental health professional, medical expert, sex therapist or someone in her religion and/or family about her decision? Once you have a better idea as to what the reasoning is behind her decision, you can sit down together and talk about how a sexless relationship will affect the both of you, and whether or not it is something you can go back to. I know of women who have stopped having sex with their partners to prompt a marriage proposal, others who have found a religious calling, and yet others who were feeling depressed and didn't find sex at all satisfying anymore. Whatever her reason, you'll have to weigh your feelings on the matter, see if the two of you can come to a compromise (or at the very least get some professional help on the matter), and if not, determine whether or not your relationship can evolve into something new or if it is time for the two of you to part ways.

Understanding A Breakup To Prevent The Next One

by Online Dating

 
The first few days after a breakup are marked with pain and a whole lot more unfocused anger. First comes the night of when your friends pull your trashed body out of the bar and onto the sofa with a trashcan next to your head. Then comes the next few days of anger and trash talking when you become convinced they must be incredibly stupid to have even thought of letting you go. Last, comes the acceptance and reality check, when you simply wonder what the hell really went wrong in the relationship?
Understanding why you were left or dumped is one of the most important parts of moving on with your life and building a better relationship in the future. Surprisingly enough, it actually could have been your fault. Look over the next few common causes of being left behind and evaluate yourself to see if you could have fallen victim to committing these cardinal relationship sins.
How well did you modulate the attention you paid to your ex in terms of letting them know you were there for them and cared? Could you honestly say your ex knew how much you supported and cared for his needs as well as your own? There’s an old saying that your partner is your better half, so it makes sense that we should be supporting that better half by listening to their troubles, and concerns the same way we expect them to listen to ours.
Did you lend an ear when they needed you, or were you too concerned with work, school, or other activities to even note their existence and moods most of the time? This is known as emotional distancing, and if your ex was experiencing it, chances are they fled because they needed someone who supported their lives and took the time to care. In your next relationship, you might try to be more present and change up your priorities a little to prevent a reoccurrence.

Of course, be cautious of the other extreme — if it sounds familiar, make drastic changes. Nobody wants a shadow, we have one that doesn’t talk, beg, and tangibly exist for a reason. Smothering is a common reason why couples break up. Being together 24/7 is too much for most couples. There’s a reason many people claim to have love/hate relationships with their families, why would you want to create that atmosphere in your own chosen relationships.
Finally, and this can also be a result of smothering, did you lose the romance in your relationship? This is especially risky in longer more comfortable relationships. People feel the need to be complimented and desired in and out of the bedroom. If things have gotten to the point where your partner feels taken for granted, or you treat them as nothing special because you assume they will always be there, you run a big risk of finding out how life is once they aren’t.

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Online Dating Tips For Single Parents

by Kristin Marshall

 Online dating has opened up a whole new world for many people, especially for the single parent. There was a time when the single parent had to make the choice between going out and trying to meet someone and being at home to take care of the kids. And that’s still done today, but online dating gives them the flexibility to get out there and meet someone new without having to commit much time to being away from home in order to make it happen.
Here are some things you should keep in mind when you’re out there in the online dating world as a single parent:

• Be realistic. Some potential partners are going to simply write you off because you have kids. Don’t let that get you down. That’s their problem, not yours. You’re a catch, and your kids are part of the package.
• Be honest. If you have kids, you’re not going to be able to hide them. Unless you’re just on the online dating scene for a fling, you’re much better off with being open about having kids early on.
• Be safe. You need to make sure that you can really trust the people you meet via online dating before meeting them in person. While this is always a good rule of thumb, it’s especially true when it comes to the fact that your kids can be put at risk.
• Be iconoclastic. There is an image of single parents that is more supermarket than superstar. To be sure, there’s a lot that’s not especially glamorous about being a single parent. Still, make sure you still know how to have a good time, and that you don’t get hung up only talking about your kids.
• Be flexible. Eventually, you’re going to have to meet that person in real life. You might have to hire a babysitter, or get your parents to watch the kids for the evening. Try to be understanding of the other person’s schedule, too, and be upfront about when you are and aren’t available.

Online Dating Tips For Single Parents

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