8 Tips for a Successful Online Dating Profile

For many women, the hardest part of internet dating is figuring out what to place in their profile. All dating sites offer their members a page, where they can write about themselves, upload photos and more. Next to your picture, the things you write about yourself are the most important because they give the reader a snap shot of who you are and what you're interest are.

One of the biggest problems that a lot of women have when they start with an internet based dating site is that they leave their profile section blank because they're anxious to get searching for people to date. There's nothing wrong with this if you're just looking, but if you're seriously trying to find the love of your life then it's a good idea to take some time before you start searching to work on this section because at the end of the day this is what makes you stand out from the rest of the crowd.

Here are some things to keep in mind when writing your internet dating profile:

1) Keep it simple

Try to make it detailed enough for prospective dates to get an idea about you but short enough that they'll want to know more about you. If you write a long dissertation about yourself most men will simply skip over it and not contact you. And in the event that they did end up contacting you, there would be nothing left for them to discover about you which is part of the excitement that comes with dating.

2) Be honest

Lying in your profile is easy and it happens quite a bit and it makes it more difficult to meet someone face to face. If your profile says you're 6'4" when you're really 5'11", your date will know you've lied the second they see you. And starting a relationship with a lie is never ever a good thing!

Unfortunately even honest people with good intentions will occasionally tell a little white lie by trying to make themselves look and sound more attractive then they really might be. If you want to attract the right kind of person based on your personality type then it pays to be honest about who you are and what you like.

3) Don't be demanding

A lot of women tend to list the qualities of the type of man that they're looking for and while there is nothing wrong with this you need to be careful that you also include enough information about yourself so that it doesn't come across as an inquisition.

4) Too much information

Try to avoid putting unnecessary details in your profile such as: pas breakups, disappointments etc. That's not what people want to see when they look. Instead let them see someone who is fun, full of life and ready to date.

5) Add a dose of humor

Using humor is a great way to stand out from the crowd. In fact, some of the most successful profiles are those that just make people laugh. So try including a good joke within your profile; it will go a long way in making you more attractive to your prospects.

6) Be original

When it comes to generating interest with online dating, try and go deeper in this section. Anyone can write "I like long walks on the beach and quite evenings at home". Instead, try using adjectives at the start of your list and go from there. When you dig deeper and give people more of yourself you come across as a real person instead of just words and a picture.

7) Upload a picture

A picture is a must if you're into online dating and not having one will make your prospects jump over you faster than a mud puddle. In fact, some people when they're searching for profiles to view, will only select those with a picture, so if you don't have one you need to get one. Don't stress too much about how your picture needs to look. Generally a good head shot of you smiling will do the job nicely.

8) Match your profile to what you want

Make sure that both your profile, picture and screen name give off the impression that you want. If you're a woman looking for a serious relationship then avoid putting up semi nude photos of yourself because you're not going to attract the kind of guy that you're really looking for.

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Getting Over Your Ex Girlfriend - It DOES Get Better With Time

One of the things that you have to keep in mind when you are trying to get over an ex girlfriend is that it can get better with time if you have the right mindset about things and you don't just sit at home and act depressed about the way that things turned out. Now, I know very well that it is easier to say that things get better than it is to believe it when you are heartbroken, but you do have to remember that there are lots of other women out there and even though you may have lost one, that does not mean that you can't find another. Here are some things that you can do to make things better if you are trying to get over an ex girlfriend: 1) Remember the bad times with her so that you don't end up thinking it was perfect being in a relationship with her. It's next to impossible to get over someone if you remember them as being perfect and you remember being with them as being perfect as well. As good as she might have been and as good as it may have been to have dated her, you know that there were some bad times or that there were some complaints that you had about her. Remember those because you don't want to revise things so that she comes off as being the perfect woman for you because you will not find it easy to get over your ex girlfriend if you see her in that light. 2) Play the field for a bit just so that you can distract yourself. Some will say that this is the "wrong" thing to do, but I don't think so. It can be healthy to play the field a bit and get yourself back in the swing of meeting new women. You may still think about your ex girlfriend, but you'll definitely also see that there are lots of women that you could have some fun dating as well. 3) Keep yourself busy with activities that take your mind off of your ex girlfriend. Anything that you have fun doing that takes your mind off of your ex girlfriend is a good thing and you should do those things right now if you are trying to get over her. There is no sense in just sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself, you might as well have some fun and do things that keep you from thinking about her right now.

She Doesn't Want To Have Sex With Me Anymore

Julian asks: "I have been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now, and since the beginning we have been having sex. All of a sudden though, she tells me that she does not want to "disrespect" her body and that she does not want us having sex anymore. I feel like she should not have made such a big decision that affects both of us without even talking to me about it beforehand. I love her very much and to me the sex was a way of showing that love. It seems to me that if a relationship was sexually active, and that factor is suddenly taken away, the relationship can't be expected to be the same. Any advice?" I agree that your relationship with your girlfriend cannot be the same as it was before, as what sounds like a big part of the way the two of you share your affection was through sexual intercourse has now been removed from the equation. However, I think that having sex or not having sex isn't the question. Yes, it would have been much easier and kinder if your girlfriend to have talked to you about what was going through her mind before she made a decision. When you enter into a relationship with someone, part of that process is agreeing that any major decisions that affect the both of you are discussed, first. Someone gets offered their dream job 400 miles away, an ex invites you to their wedding, or who to spend the holidays with are all conversations better had, together, before a decision has been made. Sex however is a tricky one, because for many people it is very difficult to talk to their partner about their needs and wants. Using the word "disrespect" tells me that your girlfriend has been struggling with this for some time and needs you to understand her dilemma. It wasn't easy for her I'm sure to tell you about her decision, but I'll hazard a guess that it had very little to do with you. Rather, some outside force is "telling" her that sex is shameful, bad or not to be shared with someone she isn't married to. Problem is, it doesn't sound like you know which category her decision falls into. Ask her why she feels sex is disrespectful to her body, and try to really listen to what she's saying. I know its difficult to hear from the person you love that they want to stop an important aspect of your relationship, but if you want to make things work with this woman, you are going to have to bite your tongue (and pride) and find out the reasons why she feels this way. When did this become a problem, and why? What is she hoping to gain from not having sex with you anymore? Is all affection off limits (kissing, touching, hand holding), or just sex itself? Has she talked to a mental health professional, medical expert, sex therapist or someone in her religion and/or family about her decision? Once you have a better idea as to what the reasoning is behind her decision, you can sit down together and talk about how a sexless relationship will affect the both of you, and whether or not it is something you can go back to. I know of women who have stopped having sex with their partners to prompt a marriage proposal, others who have found a religious calling, and yet others who were feeling depressed and didn't find sex at all satisfying anymore. Whatever her reason, you'll have to weigh your feelings on the matter, see if the two of you can come to a compromise (or at the very least get some professional help on the matter), and if not, determine whether or not your relationship can evolve into something new or if it is time for the two of you to part ways.

Understanding A Breakup To Prevent The Next One

by Online Dating

 
The first few days after a breakup are marked with pain and a whole lot more unfocused anger. First comes the night of when your friends pull your trashed body out of the bar and onto the sofa with a trashcan next to your head. Then comes the next few days of anger and trash talking when you become convinced they must be incredibly stupid to have even thought of letting you go. Last, comes the acceptance and reality check, when you simply wonder what the hell really went wrong in the relationship?
Understanding why you were left or dumped is one of the most important parts of moving on with your life and building a better relationship in the future. Surprisingly enough, it actually could have been your fault. Look over the next few common causes of being left behind and evaluate yourself to see if you could have fallen victim to committing these cardinal relationship sins.
How well did you modulate the attention you paid to your ex in terms of letting them know you were there for them and cared? Could you honestly say your ex knew how much you supported and cared for his needs as well as your own? There’s an old saying that your partner is your better half, so it makes sense that we should be supporting that better half by listening to their troubles, and concerns the same way we expect them to listen to ours.
Did you lend an ear when they needed you, or were you too concerned with work, school, or other activities to even note their existence and moods most of the time? This is known as emotional distancing, and if your ex was experiencing it, chances are they fled because they needed someone who supported their lives and took the time to care. In your next relationship, you might try to be more present and change up your priorities a little to prevent a reoccurrence.

Of course, be cautious of the other extreme — if it sounds familiar, make drastic changes. Nobody wants a shadow, we have one that doesn’t talk, beg, and tangibly exist for a reason. Smothering is a common reason why couples break up. Being together 24/7 is too much for most couples. There’s a reason many people claim to have love/hate relationships with their families, why would you want to create that atmosphere in your own chosen relationships.
Finally, and this can also be a result of smothering, did you lose the romance in your relationship? This is especially risky in longer more comfortable relationships. People feel the need to be complimented and desired in and out of the bedroom. If things have gotten to the point where your partner feels taken for granted, or you treat them as nothing special because you assume they will always be there, you run a big risk of finding out how life is once they aren’t.

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Online Dating Tips For Single Parents

by Kristin Marshall

 Online dating has opened up a whole new world for many people, especially for the single parent. There was a time when the single parent had to make the choice between going out and trying to meet someone and being at home to take care of the kids. And that’s still done today, but online dating gives them the flexibility to get out there and meet someone new without having to commit much time to being away from home in order to make it happen.
Here are some things you should keep in mind when you’re out there in the online dating world as a single parent:

• Be realistic. Some potential partners are going to simply write you off because you have kids. Don’t let that get you down. That’s their problem, not yours. You’re a catch, and your kids are part of the package.
• Be honest. If you have kids, you’re not going to be able to hide them. Unless you’re just on the online dating scene for a fling, you’re much better off with being open about having kids early on.
• Be safe. You need to make sure that you can really trust the people you meet via online dating before meeting them in person. While this is always a good rule of thumb, it’s especially true when it comes to the fact that your kids can be put at risk.
• Be iconoclastic. There is an image of single parents that is more supermarket than superstar. To be sure, there’s a lot that’s not especially glamorous about being a single parent. Still, make sure you still know how to have a good time, and that you don’t get hung up only talking about your kids.
• Be flexible. Eventually, you’re going to have to meet that person in real life. You might have to hire a babysitter, or get your parents to watch the kids for the evening. Try to be understanding of the other person’s schedule, too, and be upfront about when you are and aren’t available.

Online Dating Tips For Single Parents

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Dating When You’re On The Rebound

by Online Dating

After a breakup, it can be hard to get back onto the dating scene. Relationships represent a huge investment of time, energy, hopes and dreams, and when it doesn’t work out, we need time to heal before moving on.Rebound relationships can be tricky, especially for the conscientious dater who doesn’t want to see anyone else get hurt. Ask yourself the following questions when trying to decide if the time is right:

• How serious were you about your last relationship? If your heart was fully invested, chances are the breakup was hard on you, too. Friends may suggest online dating or blind dates as a way to encourage you to heal, but their advice may be missing the mark. Only you can decide when it’s time to start seeing new people again.
• How often do you think about your ex? If the answer is more than once a day, chances are you’re not ready to move on. Questions linger in our minds long after a relationship ends. We may be unsure of ourselves, doubt our choice in partners, or wonder if the right one is even “out there.” If you’re still mulling over every detail of your last relationship, meeting someone new will only divert your attention temporarily. It may not be kind to “use” someone this way, and you aren’t very likely to find that special someone when you’re still hung up on past mistakes.
• What are your reasons for wanting to date? If your primary reason is to forget about someone who once meant a lot to you, your energies might be better invested elsewhere. Take a few night classes or plan a vacation instead. It will give you something to focus on without jeopardizing your emotions.

There’s no set amount of time that one must wait after ending one relationship before starting to date again. Any attempt at quantifying the “right” amount of time for someone to heal after a breakup is pure speculation, and not usually helpful. Getting back in the game is a very personal choice. Just make sure you’re making the decision for the right reasons, and you aren’t likely to let yourself down or hurt someone else in the process.

Dating Someone When You're Sick

In one of the Seinfeld episodes, a characters' tell that someone was worth dating was if said date leaned over to open the car door for the person driving -- before they had a chance to get their keys out and open the door themselves.
I thought it was cute at the time, but that's never been my tell. Mine has more to do with when someone is at their worst. An easy one is if someone is sick, but there's a wide range of behaviors that fit the bill: like the guy who never returned my calls after I told him I had to leave town to attend my fathers' funeral. Pretty obvious that one, but you get my drift.
So right now, I'm sick. And not just a sniffle, either. This is the kind of flu that makes you feel like you're inhaling mud. The housebound kind, even if you are desperate for Kleenex. The kind that, if you were dating someone, you'd call and ask them to kindly grab you some tissues along with maybe, perhaps, some soup? Thanks baby, you're the best.
Unfortunately I have no such person to ask; like many of you, I too am currently single. But even if I did, I'd have to temper my cold with the status of our relationship. Ask too soon and the person you're dating sees you at your worst early on - which (in my personal and professional experience) leads some people to bolt as soon as the favor is finished. Alternatively, I've had one relationship where my date getting sick solidified our bond; I fed him homemade soup, scented the air with lung-cleansing aromatherapy, played soothing music and pressed cold compresses to his forehead. Five years into that relationship he would have never let me dote on him like that, yet mere months in it was magic. I still look back to those hazy, dare I say romantic days with fondness.
What about you? Do you have a timeline as to when you'll allow your date to see you sick? Is there a 'good' time? Or, do you have a different 'tell' for when you know someone you've just started seeing is someone worth investing more time into?

What To Do When an Ex Comes Back?

You broke up. Years passed, and both of you moved on. Occasionally a reminder pops up of the time spent together, but for the most part there's no contact.
Then, one day out of the blue, the ex says hi. Maybe you ran into each other on the street, he found you on Facebook, she sent you an email. They ask, "How are you doing?" and, "Maybe we could catch up sometime."
For many, fear sets in. Do I want to see this person? What could they possibly want? Is a reconciliation possible? Are they getting married? Do I really want to bring all those old feelings, memories, back up again?
It's a tough decision to meet with an ex, depending on how the relationship ended and how much time has passed since its demise. I've heard all sorts of stories:

• High school sweethearts that haven't seen each other in 30 years, who meet again at a reunion and by the time dessert is served have already chosen their wedding date;
• A couple breaks up because one has to move far away, just to find themselves next door neighbors in a completely different town four years later;
• Two people share one great date but circumstances don't allow for another. Seven years later, one contacts the other on Facebook, asking for meet up number two.

When readers and clients ask me if they should either contact an ex or reply to contact from an ex, my answer depends on the nature of the relationship and how much time has elapsed. But the stories above prove that sometimes, the rules aren't worth following and connection has its own time line. So what do you think? If an ex contacted you, would you reply? Is there an ex that you want to make contact with again? If you've had an ex contact you, or if you've already done the contacting, how did it go?

Halloween Costumes for Couples and Singles

If you've read this blog for a year or two, you'll know that I love Halloween. In my opinion, it's one of the best times of year to meet new people because there are so many opportunities to dress up, attract attention and flirt the night away with people you wouldn't normally meet.
Being coupled up at Halloween is fun too; it's a project to create a couples costume, one that covers both of your personalities well and allows your partnership to shine. Obviously many of you agree, as my Halloween costumes for couples list is by far the most popular page on this site at this time of year.
I change and add ideas to each list every year as readers respond and I get new ideas, and this year is no exception. I also get submissions from readers and PR folks that just don't fit into a particular category, but that I feel are too special to be missed - so here are those unusual suggestions, tips and ideas (and I'll add to them as I receive new ones too):
Trayce, a single woman who has passed the 30-year-old mark, commented that she didn't want to dress up for Halloween without her outfit being classy yet subtly sexy. She feels that many a single gal gets a bit too open with their outfits, so she's decided to, "wear a gorgeous, one-of-a-kind piece by mask artist Jeff Semmerling with a black sheath dress. I won't even need jewelry because his bejeweled masks are so spectacular." Last year she wore something similar, "a magnificent mask that was covered in Emerald green Swarovski crytals with skinny jeans and a black turtleneck. Everyone approached me."
Several folks, including a gent named Phil, suggested readers look at trends from yesteryear to get Halloween costume ideas. "Vintage clothing has become very popular in the past few years, and many shops sell men's stuff as well as women's - 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s clothes could make great costume ideas for a couple." He also suggested looking online at Modcloth and LAVintage for those without other options locally, and KD Danceshared that they have several options that are vintage-inspired as well.
What do you plan on wearing this Hallowe'en? Feel free to share links to photos, ideas or suggestions, or take a peek at my unusual but fun lists below for even more ideas and inspiration.

Using Craigslist To Meet People

I've used online dating services almost since their inception when I've been single and wanted to meet someone. I started as a geeky girl in demand when there were few of us online, and from that a sort of elitist mentally spawned: online dating sites were fine, but I drew the line at the classifieds and chat rooms. For many years I've clung to this unspoken yet firmly entrenched rule of mine, and many of my friends have as well. Clients that have used Craigslist to meet people were few and far between, so I wasn't asked for advice on the subject often.
Fast forward to a few days ago, when I realized I've been single for some time and would like to start dating again. How should I meet people that I could potentially date? Sure, I can review my own list of places to meet people (and did), but I wanted to try something different. Something I'd never done before, something that might help me encounter folks I wouldn't meet otherwise, something totally out of character. A girlfriend of mine suggested Craigslist. My first reaction was to laugh, and then... well why not?
I wrote up a short blurb explaining where I was at and what I was looking for, as well as what I have to offer someone else. A quick proofread and a few mouse clicks later, my Craigslist ad was live. Would anyone reply? Would people make fun of me? How many inappropriate photos would I get? Would safe dating be an issue?
It didn't take long for the first people to answer, and I was surprised with their candor and intelligence. Yes, I did receive a few undesirable responses (which were immediately put in my spam folder so I never heard from them again), and a dating scam offer or two. Many were considerably older than what I'd expressly stated a preference for, and some were honest with their want for casual dating only. One gent sent a nasty note when I didn't reply in a timely manner, and one email was from a good friend (we shared a few laughs over that one).
All in all though, the experience was better than I'd hoped for. Its success is still pending, but if meeting new people was my only goal, Craigslist provided me with more positive interactions and opportunities than any online dating site has in years. If things don't work out with any of the Craigslist folks, maybe I'll try something even more out of my comfort zone in a few weeks' time.
But what about you? Have you used Craigslist to meet people? Why or why not? Are you concerned about safety, who will contact you, privacy or how it will come across to your friends/family?